"Out to lunch"

I'm blogging today from my office at work, which is probably totally uncool and inappropriate. It can be like taking a lunch break except that I do not feel like eating lunch because I gave in to a piece of chocolate cake not long ago. So instead of eating lunch, I'm blogging from the guidance office. I'm not in trouble. It's my office :)

The reason I feel like writing in this very moment is because after today, I only work a half-day on Friday and then I leave this school for good. I thought I knew what bittersweet meant before this week. I was wrong.

Let me back up for a minute and explain what I'm talking about. Last year was my first year as guidance counselor at a beautiful Christian school filled with interesting, unique, flavorful people. Four years ago, I worked at this same school as a 1st grade teacher but God led me on to do other things (like toddler play therapy where I believe He was preparing me for obstacles I may face as a parent). Then the Summer before last year, after a lot of prayer, seeking, searching and talking, God saw fit to bring me back to this school to do guidance part-time. It was the absolute best decision for me because it challenged me in a new way every single day. I learned, I grew, I helped, I taught, I led and in return was blessed beyond measure by the children and faculty. It was a difficult year in many ways. Let's be honest... I only have a B.S. in Child Psychology and no further education beyond that. There was a lot of faith put into me and I believe where much is given, much is required. I appreciate that and I believe it was a spectacular year!

When Chris and I found out we were expecting last July... the question arose as to whether or not I would return this year with a due date in March. I knew I wouldn't be able to finish the year and I felt in my heart that toward the end of my pregnancy, I may not be able to work at all. So after more prayer, more talking, more seeking (I do a lot of this in my life) I came to the decision that if I could work until Christmas break, I would gladly come back. The decision was then left up to the principal who took some time of his own to consider my proposition. He chose to bring me back and told me so sweetly that any amount of time they can have me is better than nothing. Did I mention I have the best boss in the world who tells me often how much he appreciates me, is so happy for me and is going to miss me. I'm pretty sure he probably tells everyone that (minus the missing part as I'm sure no one else is leaving!) but it always feels special. I am a person who GREATLY appreciates honesty and kind remarks. A lot of people aren't comfortable enough to speak that way directly to another person and I wish more people would be. So, here I sit in my office for the second to last time and it's bittersweet. It's SO bittersweet. It's bitter (or sad is a better word) because I know this is it for me. I do not plan to return any time soon. I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom and God has honored that request for us financially and circumstantially in our lives right now. I'm so thankful for this opportunity to stay home and spend so much quality time with our little boy. It's sad because I have friends here that brighten my weeks and bring me so many smiles. I know how hard it is to stay connected with people. Wow, but the joy that I feel in return is so so sweet. My heart knew and was pretty accurate about not being able to work in my final months of pregnancy. I am in a high-risk situation and while I hope it does not come to this, bed rest could be in my future toward the end. I remind myself that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose! I also remind myself that God designed women for this reason! To bear fruit and give life! It's such an honor and in that responsibility, I find peace in knowing that there is NOTHING I will face that God did not already plan for. I'm excited for this new chapter and I'm reminding myself daily to take it easy, rest and enjoy every little last moment of this journey.

I'm pretty sure my "lunch break" is probably over at this point :)

I wanted to include a picture of my Molly girl, just for good measure.