my shift key is currently under the weather so there will most likely be minimal punctuation and capitlization in this post. so no judgement! woa that worked! sometimes it do, sometimes it don't my friend.
i've had some conversation lately with a very close friend about 'losing yourself' when you become a mom. we are both stay at home moms and i think like most moms, we catch ourselves feeling the occasional itch to remember who we were pre-children. what brought us joy? what was a favorite pasttime? when did we feel our prettiest? i think the devil would love to take that doorway that is slightly cracked and push it all the way open into deep thoughts on this topic. to become self-absorbed, self-serving and self-gratifying is what he would love to see. sometimes it seems we are bombarded by society to believe in self. i think it's important to have an outlet, to keep your friends close, to engage in adult conversation, adult get-togethers and maintain the balance between 'all baby all the time' and 'who you once were'. the reality is, 'who you once were pre-children' is never going to be exactly the same. having a baby changes everything! it's not just a popular slogan that older generations love to say. i'm not yet 30 and i believe it and have experienced it. what i didn't expect and didn't realize about that statement, is the change that comes is so much better than i could have imagined. it has never once been a negative change. to try to hold on to who i once was is just simply futile and rediculous. i'll never be the same and i'm glad for that because life has only gotten better. i don't think all people feel this way, and i respect that. completely. i've discovered i take motherhood exceedingly more serious than i ever knew i could. afterall, god has entrusted this soul to me to nurture. my prayer is to never let my self get in the way of that awesome responsibility... and maybe after 100 fails i'll get it right one day.
parenthood is afterall the amazing journey of 1000 mess ups. 1000 forgives. 1000 forgets. 1000 i love yous and 1000 prayers. by the time the kiddos all leave the home, hopefully the score card is empty, the door stays open and the conversation never ends.
No comments:
Post a Comment