NEW!

A new year... a new post! I think it's been too long since I've updated and shared what is going on lately here in the Stramann house. Let me tell you, a lot has been going on. I don't know how my brain is supposed to keep up with so much happening. Life is changing so quickly with a little one about to TURN one and I find myself unsure of where these months have disappeared to. I'm not sad for the time that has passed, but I'm not happy about it either. Logically, I know it's wonderful to see Landon grow and learn new things. Watching him discover the world and take everything in is pretty spactacular really. I can't describe the joy it gives me, when I see him smile. Of course, his smile is quite infectious but it's also just knowing that my kid is happy. Something that we are doing is making him smile, and I always want him to have a reason to smile. So, I'm not sad about him growing up because he's growing into a beautiful person. I do, however, want to stop time and linger in moments a little longer. He sleeps 13 hours at night, so I think most parents get more time with their little ones than that! Everyone always tells me how Landon won't "be that way forever" in regard to his temperment, or his sleep schedule, or his behavior etc. In the same breath, they say they have never seen a baby so good, or so happy. In the next breath, "don't expect your next baby to be like this!" Landon is who God made him to be. If he's happy, God gave him a mild temperment and I'm not going to question that. God brought Landon through a difficult start and the child he has become is nothing short of a gift, a pure blessing. We find ourselves feeling so undeserving, so grateful... so in love. He has a little tooth now, which popped up on Christmas Eve, also his 11 month "birthday". He got his very first tooth for Christmas this year! He's also been waving more frequently, turning off light switches and practically will not be bottle-fed anymore. He wants to hold his own bottle and walk around while drinking it with one hand. Sometimes he will sit with me for a few minutes, but I guess that is just not exciting enough :) He still stares at strangers as if they are aliens and I find it quite funny how uncomfortable he makes people. Trips to Walmart (or other places where people get talky) are interesting for me. Without fail an older woman or young mother will talk to Landon, wave to him, make funny sounds at him... any number of normal smile-inducing behaviors in infants, only to receive a blank stare. Then they ask how old he is, followed by, "oh he's so little!" hehe. It really is always the same story, but I don't mind. As soon as we leave, he and I giggle about how we save all of our smiles for daddy! :) Maybe he'll be a shy boy. Maybe he'll be the life of the party cracking everyone up. Whatever he becomes will be fine by me.

God has been so good to us and so good to many people that I know. I have a lot of friends that are pregnant and I am thanking God for their new blessings and for the ways their lives are about to change. Change is hard, but when it's the result of a blessing, it's good! I just never want to go about this life thinking that you or me have anything to do with why we are standing here, living, breathing, thriving. All of our efforts, our money spent, our time invested for what... a diploma? A degree? A career that matters? Being the best wife? The best mom? The best person? Those are just efforts, and they are completely in vain if we are selfishly seeking our own pleasure, our own self-worth, our own pat on the back. Sometimes I feel so small compared to the great responsibility that God has given me as a mother, a wife... I can never acheive perfection in those roles and I shouldn't even try. God expects that I give my heart to these roles that He has placed me in. He expects that I give my heart to Him first and foremost... and honestly, there is no other place I'd willingly place my life than in the hands of the One who made me, crafted my soul before I was a vapor in my mother's womb... before my time, I was known. All I can do, all you can do is live authentically, knowing that we need grace. We need mercy. We need forgiveness. When my heart strays from my Lord, I need Him to pull the reigns and deliver me from myself... which is a dangerous place to be. I guess that is my desire lately and each day is filled with new obstacles in this area. I learn more and more, the more I study, the more I grow, that falling into the trap of ME is not only devestating to my spirit and to everyone around me, but it pulls me away from God faster than anything else. He must be glorified in the small things, trusted in the big. Because the bottom line is this... we are FINITE beings with more limitations than abilities. God is not. He causes your days. He causes your joy. He doesn't promise us rainbows because we live in a world infected with sin. He gives us that choice. He WILL bring you back to Himself because He loves you that much to never give up. There is no person who loves me that much...