The NICU

They dynamic here is very interesting. There are the NICU nurses who, for the most part, are wonderful. There is the lactation team of 3 women who are AMAZING. They visit the NICU every other day or so just in case any of the new moms may need them. Those ladies have truly been a breath of fresh air for me. There was a morning in the NICU when I hadn't eaten and I became dizzy, overwhelmed and just needed to sit down. This was also as we were leaving which is sometimes a very difficult thing to do. One of the lactation consultants came to my side, got me something to drink and talked me through it. She encouraged me to go rest and that it's OK to rest. Sometimes just having someone there tell you to rest, takes away some of the guilt from not being by his side 24/7. There was another time when a lactation consultant (different girl) came to my room because I had a question and in the middle of our conversation, I got very sick and she ran out to get me some supplies and sat with me to make sure I was ok. Like I said, these ladies are very special people. They know just how to provide that extra little something that makes you feel like everything will be ok.
The NICU nurses all operate very differently. They all have their own way of doing things and we are starting to learn their individual ways and beginning to know what to expect when Landon has one of them. The shifts are 7-7 so we have a day nurse and night nurse. It can be challenging when their ways clash a lot with one another, but I think in time that will get better. Basically we are able to go see Landon whenever we want to. However, we can't always hold him. Now lactation would tell us- you can hold him whenever you want but lactation are not the NICU nurses. They are more from the old school- mothers milk and a cuddle rival medicine. I love that about them because I think that mindset caters to every mother's heart. We also know we don't want to wear Landon out by taking him out of his incubator too often. So sometimes Chris will go visit him and just hold his hand or pat his back and talk to him through the arm holes. Usually, I go before it's time for him to eat and do "skin-to-skin" time with him which is crucial for his growth and healing. I will sit with him like this for over an hour usually, kissing him, talking to him and letting him sink into me. Lactation told us the more I kiss him, the more I take in his germs and within 24 hours my body develops antibodies against those germs and excretes them into my breast milk which is then reabsorbed by Landon. How amazing is God? I mean, REALLY.
I think everyone down there is realizing that we are extremely involved parents. I don't just mean that we visit him a lot... I mean I know what is going on with my son. I keep track of everything they do and when something is different I notice immediately and ask about it. I don't think a lot of other people rent a room like we are doing, and if they do, probably not for this length of time. I'm so grateful to be able to do this... to be near our baby right now. My parents are helping us by watching our dogs and I highly doubt we would be able to be here if they were not watching them. We wouldn't have anyone else who would take on that responsibility. It's such a huge blessing. I hope they know how much it means to us...
With Chris going back to work yesterday, I am all by myself during the day. I was pretty used to having his help with everything. I'm not sure if anyone realizes just how much it really does take two! In the hospital room, I sit up in the hospital bed most of the time when we are here. I'm still in a good deal of pain most of the time and I try to rest at any opportunity. I have a side table that is on wheels where I keep all of my medications, the phone, water, menu, pumping log, computer etc. My pump is also on wheels and sits on the floor by my bed. All of the pumping supplies are across the room at the vanity because they get rinsed and dried every single time I pump. They have to be rinsed immediately after and there are lots of little parts to take apart and let dry. When you have a partner, he can take the supplies from you after you finish, bring them to you if you need to pump or even take them down to the NICU before a feeding. All of this wouldn't be a problem for me to do at ALL if I hadn't had surgery :) But having that help means I don't have to get up and walk around all the time, in and out of bed etc. So I'm adjusting to having to do everything on my own and in turn it's making me much more exhausted. I think in another 3-4 days, I will feel SO much better and this will be a lot easier. The physical recovery has not been very easy. I try to ignore the pain as much as possible but sometimes you just can't.
My little angel boy is doing so well... I'm so proud of him I could just bust at the seams. In fact, I need to go see him right now :) Until next time... say a prayer for little Landon if you read this and I think his mommy and daddy could use a little too while you're at it. We love all of you!